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About Literature / Student EmilyFemale/United States Group :iconoperation-love: Operation-Love
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Deviant for 9 Years
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She likes to think she could bury him. She likes to imagine a place she can visit and know he is near, even if it’s only skin and bones. At least he’d be near. But, she imagines him lying in a field somewhere in France, his beautiful skin ravaged by different carrion. She imagines him alone and it kills her more than the telegraph did.
How out of place that telegraph had seemed. It came on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday morning. Shouldn’t the world have ended the moment he stopped breathing? Shouldn’t she have known? Why had she needed a telegraph to tell her the news, when she should have felt it?
Her mother, a self-proclaimed expert in all matters of the heart, tells her she’s in denial and that’s why she hasn’t cried yet.
She isn’t, though. She knows exactly what had happened. She isn’t expecting him to come home, to start breathing again. But, she can’t understand why she hadn’t gone when he did. It’s not that
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 7 4
Who You Were Is No Longer Who You Are
They washed away the blood you left on the pavement; the rest of what you were slowly circling down a sewage drain. I'm two blocks from where you last stood, drinking a vodka cranberry, reflecting on how alive I am compared to how dead you are. I drink and I drink and it seems funny to me that only a matter of seconds can rip away a life, leave it leaking onto the Earth where I walk.
I don't know who you were.
I don't know what your name was.
I drink some more.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 4 5
Beautiful Things
The destination, the final resting place
for all beautiful things
is covered in tragedy.
In a plethora of "too much"
"too little"
"too late."
Tragic circumstances bred from the consequences of having a beautiful face
beautiful words
a beautiful way of viewing the world.
The place in which we live
is not capable of holding beautiful things.
They always turn to black
to pain
inwardly reaching for something they've lost, but had before, grasped before
                  right out of reach
to a beautiful death
of their own doing.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 2 5
How To Read Your Heart
look at what your mind reflects upon,
what it aches to always remember;
next, look at what it so diligently chooses to forget.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 6 5
A Silent Specter
For the third time that week, something dragged her from the bowels of sleep, thrust her from her dreams into a fear inducing state of sleep paralysis. For what seemed like long, taxing minutes, she rose from the depths of dreams, struggling to open her eyelids, knowing she must wake up. Must wake up. Slowly, bit by bit, her body became hers again. She could breathe.
What had awaken her, she had no clue. There was merely a black space, a fear left in the back of her brain that told her to turn on the light--to check closets and underneath beds for unseen monsters.
Awake, she decide to make tea, hoping the warm liquid would soothe her back to sleep. When that didn't work, she curled onto the couch, a blanket over her lap and her fingers grasping the latest book she'd decided to read. Pages became chapters, her mind waking further with each passing scene rather than growing weary. At half past five, she watched the sun rise, a cup of coffee in hand. Stars disappeared from the blue
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 7 10
more than nothing
less than a whole
blood scattered across the globe
steps sunken into deserts, mountains, and rivers.
who had a touch like mine?
a voice like mine?
I come from a line of warriors, healers,
I come from a people of pain
shown not through my ancestral records
but the palms of my hands
the brown of my eyes.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 5 2
Stroke the fire
Stroke the fire
feel it burn
cleansing all the poisonous bits that can't be scrubbed away--
thrusting a purer sense of being out of the ashes.
After destruction comes beauty
the smallest flower appearing from a lava bed.
After death comes life,
a newfound knowledge
of love and history.
It's amazing the pain
a body can take
to make something new.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 3 2
Sometimes I look cheesy :iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 0 2
I close my eyes and all I see is snow-capped mountains, waterfalls rushing to the tune of our rotation, star-filled nights. We are alone. No one can touch us here, can tear your hand away from mine. We're just laughter and soft silhouettes, our shadows blending into the background. Your fingers through my hair and you whisper you love me and everything is okay, everything is where it should be.
the night outside is cold, and the spark thats jumping between us is too delicate to be left out in this lack of oxygen. but theres something in the stars tonight that seems to tell me that the waves in my chest aren't going to be lasting too much longer. you've got aloe vera fingertips, and they're soothing inside and outside of me.
I count to ten and close my eyes, wondering if you'll still be here when they open again. I count the seconds, days, months, fervantly waiting for the afternoon I come home and find a message from you signed all my love and goodbye until you kiss away my fears and w
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 6 2
I want you to love me when I cannot love myself. I need you to be my sacred space, my sanctuary away from the noise, silent and forgiving. Silent.
I don't breathe the same without you; my veins don't beat unless they are beside yours. We work in synchronous motion, thoughts running from one mind to the other.
From your pages to my fingertips, I find myself, an identity hidden within the corners and spines of all the books I've read and all I will never get the chance to.
I am nothing without your beauty, your gentleness, your prose littered with meaning and lessons to guide me through the various stages of my life when I cannot guide myself.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 6 0
Senorita with long black hair
Señorita with long black hair, you hold hands with men that forget your name after one dance; men whose last names are no place with dreams of making it like the white boys do. Señorita with the dark brown eyes, you are like a sparrow in the night, trying to take flight by the light of the moon, escape the only word on your mind. You look for love in the songs your papa sang to you, songs about heat and hard work and home. Señorita with the dusty soil coloured hands, you attempt to grasp both sides of your identity with one hand, the borders in your body ripping you apart. Señorita with the heavy spirit, you trust no one after seeing everyone you love walk-run away, leaving you behind with people who don't understand, people who think you're just another dirty Hispanic, your name like tin on their hateful lips. Such long steps you take, leaden down with weights you didn't ask for. Is this the American dream you were promised?
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 4 4
The Difference in Reality
Reality is
as reality does.
Who is to say reality is the same
or different
or anything but completely subjective and random.
I made you
built you up to be something majestic
      someone worth loving.
So when you turned out to be something I hadn't thought you to be
I crashed
and realized what I perceived to be true
was only a figment of my overactive
desperate imagination
          and now I miss someone who had never existed.
Perhaps being human means we will always let ourselves down more than others ever could.
Perhaps it means our personal realities will always lead to disappointment.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 6 10
Once Upon Another Time
I see you and it's almost as if my world stops turning, my rotation stops and I'm left grasping the edges as you ask me how I'm doing, completely oblivious to the way you make me feel. It's taking me longer to forget, taking me longer to say goodbye to those dreams I dreamt late at night with the stars in my eyes and the world in the palm of my hand.
I would have given you the moon, darling.
There's a photograph on my bulletin board of a sunrise over a mountain range. Family members I've never met took the photo, their memories attached to that sunrise, but lost over time. I look at the photo and think of all the places I could go--will go--as I grow older. I would have loved to see the sunrise with you.
Sometimes I wonder if it's not you I miss, it's the you I made you out to be in all of those dreams. Then I see her hold your hand, tell you she loves you, and I know it's you. Only you. I mourn for that which never came to be, but which felt so real.
I just need some more time to get
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 4 2
searched for you in all the hidden places
between webs and grass
in the spaces where light meets dark
and the horizon kisses the setting sun.
searched for you in every language
called out every name I knew you by.
        to no avail.
you were waiting
for me to find you
        in a place you'd always been--
inside of me.
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 8 4
Knew You
I knew you
like rain knows wet
desert knows heat--
you were a war
violently destructive to your opposition
bloody, intolerable.
I knew you
through the battles you waged
the way in which you tied my identity to yours
as you shot me
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 5 3
I'm Gonna Love You
was a time
I knew you like a lover
kept you hidden
safe between my heart & my head
I held you
dreamt you
made you my own.
was a time
I believed you
in you
in everything:
seismic shifts broke you
tore you
away from me--
loss so deep
I couldn't breathe
:iconlosingmyfaith:losingmyfaith 9 0

Random Favourites

Mature content
decency defied :iconlady-twiglet:Lady-Twiglet 120 68
Ancient protection :iconemberroseart:EmberRoseArt 254 120 choked by romance :iconclaramaestudios:ClaraMaeStudios 335 34 Aerie descent :iconlunebleu:LuneBleu 989 123 Forever Black-Eyed :iconfurtivelungs:FurtiveLungs 1,071 109
souls entangle
his fingers ran up and down her ribs;
tracing her entire skeletal frame so gracefully.
her fingers  brush against his checks;
where his freckles spread out like constellations.
his body pressed against hers, she can feel the heat.
but is not enough to warm her ice cold heart.
he whispers the opposite of lullabies in her ear.
and their souls entangle, in a dance of movement.
they leave their bodies behind and dance past stars
and planets. straight to the cosmos.
and when they came back down lay under the starry sky
and tell of their travels.
as a star falls they turned and said in agreement:
broken things are always prettiest.
:icondesear:desear 2 11
Ola_05 :iconhellwoman:hellwoman 1,837 121 please catch me when winter :iconjoganelken:joganelken 102 17 feel the pain :iconmalvaalcea:MalvaAlcea 1,385 262
Twilight Essay
Twilight is not as important as you think it is.
You know, I could say that and be done with this rant right now. However, it’s me and well, I actually like to prove my point. I have facts, unlike most who only rant about nonesense. Let’s talk about the major problems: Mary Sueness, Cliches, and Grammatical Errors.
Bella is a Mary Sue
‘No she’s not!! You’re wrong!! You’re just jealous cause you aren’t pretty like her!!11!!!one’
Hmm… you know, that might work if I didn’t know what else to say or have anything to back me up. Let’s just see what the dictionary has to say, shall we? (Please note though that the definition of a Mary Sue does vary and has become "muddied".)
A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for thei
:iconpaintedbluerose:paintedbluerose 533 1,519
Spider Queen :iconpygar:Pygar 1,710 327 miserable at best :iconfurtivelungs:FurtiveLungs 995 218 Eight Months :icongirltripped:girltripped 2,627 470



It's always odd logging into this site after being away for so long. It's kind of like a strange returning home.

I continue to receive so very many nice comments about my work and my gallery here. Y'all can't know how much I appreciate it. 

I'm bored at work, so figured it would be a good time to update anyone still here that followed me. My life is good right now. It' 

Let's back up. So, last May, I graduated with a Bachelors in English and History. I thought I would be going to grad school, but it wasn't in the cards yet. So, I ended up getting a job at my university. For the past year, I've been supervising the Tutoring and Writing Center, so I've been working with the peers that I worked with before, just as their boss. Super strange. I also got the chance to teach. It was amazing and solidified my life goals. 

I reapplied to grad school and, lo and behold, I'm moving to Austin, Texas to pursue my Ph.D in English literature. Crazy stuff. I move in August, which is just insane to me. It's definitely a new adventure; one that, now, I'm ready for. I don't think I would have been ready last year. So, this year off has been a good thing. It's weird to think that I have to say goodbye to people. Goodbye doesn't necessarily mean "I'm never going to talk to you again," but it does indicate that for some length of time, I won't see these people. I won't be able to call them up and say, 'Hey, let's get dinner.' Because I'll be in Texas and they'll be in New York or here. 


I joined this site when I was 17. This summer, I'll turn 24. So much has changed. I'll admit, I've gone through my gallery once since my hiatus, and I can still pinpoint the time of my life a certain piece stems from. I've grown so much; the woman I am now is, at times, only barely reflected in my work here. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to that girl and tell her, "It's all going to work out in the end. You're going to survive this. This heartbreak, this loss, it's going to make you incredibly strong and capable." But, I know that telling myself these things wouldn't have mattered. Because sometimes we have to go through the struggles. We have to hurt and break and bleed in order to appreciate the what comes next. 

I truly hope everyone here is doing well. Thank you so much for the support. Love you all. 



Artist | Student | Literature
United States
I am twenty-one years old and both an English/History major at my university. I'm also the Editor-in-Chief for our campus newspaper, as well as an intern for our literary journal. The English language has fascinated me since I was a little girl. I devoured books left and right, and still do when I have the time. I didn't start properly writing until the summer before I went into eighth grade. I'd written a couple things here and there (tales that are quite hilarious to read in retrospect), but that summer I found a love for poetry--a love that's kept with me ever since. Obviously, I've grown as a writer over the years, and my style of writing has changed a lot. Even looking here on d/A at the pieces I submitted that first year compared to the pieces I submit now, the differences in my style of writing has changed drastically.

Writing and reading are not my only loves, though. I love British television far more than I should, adore the French language and studied it for six years in school (and would hope to start studying it again soon), I love coffee (local cafes, starbucks, etc), I love living by a lake because it's beautiful and I've always been drawn to the water, I love philosophy and find it quite interesting, I also love astronomy and find it equally interesting, and I'm quite in love with editing. If you need someone to be looked over, I'm your girl. That's why working at my uni's writing center is so perfect for me! I love music; I delve into every genre. I have one tattoo and nine (ish) piercings. I love horror movies...especially ones with zombies. Because zombies are amazing.

Some of my favourite bands/singers include: Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Josh Groban, Bright Eyes, Beirut, Fleet Foxes, Locksley, Passion Pit, Ellie Goulding, Lady Gaga, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra (and loads of other old time singers), and Melody Gardot. Seriously, though, that's just a tiny, miniscule amount of the music I listen to.

Some of my favourite movies: Zombieland, Atonement, Pride and Prejudice, Love Actually, Bright Star, Tombstone, Interview with a Vampire, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Arsenic and Old Lace...and lots more. I love movies.

Some of my favourite television shows: Doctor Who, Supernatural, Dexter, House, The Walking Dead, Life, Pushing Daises, Luther, Law and Order UK, The Graham Norton Show, The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Skins, Misfits, 30 Rock, Bones...I watch a lot of t.v. It's probably a tad unhealthy. But, alas, I don't care.

+ I am an admin for :iconliterary-visions:. If you have questions about the group, let me know!
+Other addictions:
my tumblr
my livejournal
my aim address is faithadeline
my msn address is

Current Residence: Racine
Favourite genre of music: rock/alt, indie/folk, jazz
Personal Quote: "Literature is the highest form of art"


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Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015
HappyB by KmyGraphic
Emily, wishing you all things
wonderful on this
your very special day!
WorldWar-Tori Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013   General Artist
hope you are doing well :love:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
:iconllamajumpplz: Emilyemilyemilyemily...
:iconlawooplz: emilyemilyemilemily....
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
Aww, this made my day. Hahah. :huggle: heart:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
:iconsnugplz: E:bulletpurple:M:bulletred:I:bulletorange:L:bulletgreen:Y!
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013   Writer
So basically, you are all kind of beautiful and I hope you remember that because it' entirely and utterly true. ♥
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Writer
You're so sweet! Thank you so much, darling. <3
HugQueen Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Writer
:heart: Aw, absolutely my pleasure, dear one.
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012
I came here to thank you so very much for faving my "Gentle Cannibal", but did I miss someone's birthday? :O

:iconbirthdaycakeplz: Blow out the candles! :iconwindplz: :excited:

Better late than never!
losingmyfaith Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Student Writer
Aw, thank you!! :huggle:
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