Family Portraits: Part Four

One more then I’ll leave you alone. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)" />

~~~

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Birds flew high in the sky, singing their sweet song[S]. I was dressed in black, my fingers clutched together. Biting down on my lower lip, I tried to listen to the people talking of my mother, about how much of an amazing person she was. How she'd be missed dearly. I waited for my time to speak, bile rising in my throat. I couldn't do this. I wanted to run, run far away and pretend the past month had never happened.

But I couldn't do that.

I couldn't run. No more running.

I got up from my seat, walking past the priest, and stood in front of the podium. I cleared my throat before I began. "Up until a month ago, I hated my mother. Mostly because I didn't know her. I didn't see how similar her and I were. Or...or maybe I did, and I just never wanted to end up like her. Unhappy...a bitter drunk.

"When my dad died, I resented her. And when she met Pete, I couldn't see how happy she was. All I could see was anger..." I blinked back tears, pausing to gather myself before continuing. I looked at Pete, smiling. "But he did. Make her happy. He treated her good and gave her what she needed.

"I've made so many mistakes that I can never take back. But I am so grateful I got to spend this last month with her." I turned and put my hand on the dark cherry-colored casket. "I love you, Mum," I whispered, tears streaming down my face. "Watch over me."

[<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/c/c…" width="23" height="15" alt="" title="Waaaah!" /> I LOVE THIS STORY...]

[DELAnd then] I walked back to my seat, my limbs shaking. As the choir sang, a hand reached across and grabbed mine. I looked over, surprised to see Ashley's [AH, SOME ASHLEY BONDING TIME NOW. I WAS WONDERING WHEN SHE’D MAKE UP WITH HER SIS] palm lying on my skin, every grudge and ill feeling we had towards each other melting away at the moment. We were all we had left. Sisters...alone.

...

I shake my head, hiding back my tears. "No, Mum. You'll get better. You're just sick for right now, but it'll pass-"

She squeezes my hand. "Oh, Billie. My darling Belinda. It's all right."

"No, mum, it's not! We need you! Ashley and Pete and...and me. I need you, Mum."

"You are a strong, capable-"

"No, I'm not. I'm really not. I don't have a fuckin' clue what to do. I need you to help me; I want you here to help me."

She closes her eyes, her face so pale...her limbs so weak. "I'm tired, Belinda," she sighs. "The treatment, the chemo...it all took so much out of me. I'm tired. And I'm in pain." She opens her eyes, crying out, "I just want the pain to end."

It breaks my heart. The tears pour down my cheeks, drenching the top of my shirt. "I've been so stupid. Such a complete dolt. What I put you through...you should hate me."

"I could never hate you. You're my baby."

I put my head on her chest, feel her run her hands through my hair. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"My dear, there's nothing to forgive. I love you."

"I love you, too."

[YOU JUST LOVE TO TORTURE, DON’T YOU. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Wink)" /> THIS FIC NEEDS A KLEENEX WARNING ON IT.]
...



It was hard to pack my bags after being home for so long. But I had a life that I had to get back to...friends and a job. I knew I couldn't stay there, even if I wanted to. So, ten days after my mother's funeral, I packed my suitcases and had them taken to the front hall.

I stopped in the sitting room, sitting on the couch while Ashley and Brandon finished up something in the kitchen. I looked around, smiling as I saw the family portraits lining the walls. Huh...I'd always hated being a Smith. Now...

[NEW PARA]"It's not too bad," I whispered.

My gaze landed on a portrait of me, Ashley, my mother, and my father. I was [DELroughly] around six years old. I [DELstood,] [WAS] standing in front of the picture with my arms crossed. I looked at my dad's face...my mum's. "So many secrets."

"None you haven't figured out," Ashley answered.

I turned, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm sure there are skeletons in some closet I could dig up if I wanted to."

She smiled softly. "Yes, I suppose there are."

I walked closer to her, and then embraced her. "I'm sorry," [DELI told her.]

"We're far too different to ever be best friends," she answered me. "It's not your fault. I blame genetics."

I laughed, pulling back. "Right. But that doesn't mean we can't be civil. And maybe...in time...who knows? We could be two ol' grannies sittin' around in here talking about the 'good old days'."

She frowned. "God, I hope not."

We both chuckled.

"Come back to visit though," she said, nodding [DELher head]. "It's gonna be weird without Mum here and...she was right. You're the one to call when someone needs a laugh. I think I'm going to need plenty of those in the time to come."

"It'll be all right, Ash. Mum...she's fine. And she wouldn't want ya worrying, ya know."

"Yeah, I know."

Brandon stepped into the sitting room, his eyes immediately landing on mine. "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day the two Smith sisters could stand in the same room and not murder each other."

I slung an arm around Ashley's shoulders and said, "We've grown up. We're mature, responsible young women. Although only one of us has a natural hair color."

Ashley smacked my arm. "Oh, shut up."

I wandered into the front hall, my smile dying as soon as I saw my luggage. "Well...help me carry these out, Brandon?"

He nodded [DELhis head], taking my bags as I gave everyone a hug. I even gave Pete another hug.

I followed Brandon outside, the English sun glittering in the air. It was a beautiful day. There was a nice breeze, carrying along with it the scent of [lavender...HEY, I WAS CLOSE. I SAID LILAC] and rose from the garden. I smiled. I could practically see my mother walking around, picking flowers for on the table.

[NEW PARA]"I'm gonna miss her," I told him. "I never thought I would. It's strange...how much I've changed."

He didn't say anything, he just kept walking alongside me.

I bit my lip, watching as he loaded my bags into the back of the rental car I'd be driving. As soon as he was done, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him, pressing my face to the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. Pulling back, I noticed tears in his eyes. "I'll always love you," [I told him strongly...ISN’T THAT JUST YELLING?]. "But you're Ashley's now. And she'll take better care of you than I ever could."

"Billie-"

"No...I don't want you to say anything. I don't want to leave crying, ya know. Regretting." I gave him another hug, every memory I had with him running through my mind. "You take care of her, Brandon. Don't you dare break her heart."

"I won't," he whispered.

"Good." I kissed him on the cheek, and then ducked inside the car. The engine purred to life...and I watched as he grew smaller and smaller in my review mirror.

"Promise me you'll be happy, Billie."

"I promise," I whispered, tearing my eyes away from the mirror.

I promise.

~~~

Ah, it would have been so nice for them to end up together, but she did the right thing.

Not much to suggest. The tags glared, but I hate those things.

I truly loved critting this fic. It was a joy to read. A real joy. You deserved the win and I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.
KM